Forgiving and Forgetting but never gonna stop Feeling

Yes I do Forgive..And being blessed with a poor memory I Forget more so often. But time again I have realized that what stays with you is the memory of the way you felt at the moment of betrayal. The feeling persists and some how it makes a place, not in the warm embrace of your heart but in your cold veins instead. The next time you are put through the same disappointment, its not that your brain pieces together the relevance. But its your veins that tighten and remind you that you have felt this before too. Blood does run thin and perhaps in the heat of the moment you lose all sanity; Perhaps even the hope of some day letting things go... Yet the moment passes...The Veins loosen..Blood takes the right turns from your clenched fists back to your broken yet whole heart...and forgiveness pours out yet again. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. What else could be Nirvana? When you can gladly say..."Been there ...Tolerated that..." With a smile on your face, a skip in your steps and a cheerful song on ya lips...

Its your capacity to Forgive that nourishes your capacity to Feel. And the acceptance of having felt worse before fuels your capability of delivering Forgiveness.

Salmon Stroke...

"Just go with the flow bro" they told me. Let things go on as they are and someday the waters of your rapturous thoughts might end up in the vast ocean of greater acceptance.

I for one never believed in complete acceptance. If things are not as you wish them to be, you have to make an effort at the Salmon Stroke. If the salmon listened to the world and accepted the fact that they live a life of contentment in the sea, who would swim upstream against the odds, for what their hearts truly desire?

Life might provide obstacles and trying times, but its your own choice to leave comfort and chase what you Love.
Pain, disappointment, weakness and the perpetually hanging scythe of the Grim might slow you down, but Vulneria Sapientia my dear; From Pain comes Wisdom...the wisdom of Living a life of purpose. Matters not how small or large the purpose be or even how short or long the life be.

Life is a Bitch... But she is mine

Life is unfair and it always will be. But aren't we more unfair to ourselves than her? When she gives us a new opportunity to start over afresh every other morning, we disregard it and spend our days wallowing in despair and self pity; Crawling back into our bittersweet haven of good old memories. She waits outside the door beckoning our latent minds to grab her by the shoulders, kiss her deep and make new memories, and we be too stubborn to unwrap our arms from around the old.

I called Life a bitch, she bit me back. I called Life a whore, she fucked me back.
However twisted she may be, I called her my own, and Lo! She hugged me back...

The Drive...

The roar of the wind that rustles through your hair while you are  driving upwards of 140 km an hour, drowns out all sound. The engine vibrates with a rhythm that in sync with your own heart, your sight stops wavering from all that's around and in a moment you are not on the road but become a part of it. A part thats definite and infinite. That's what I like about these drives, which makes all the problems and all the noise dissolve into nothingness. The nothingness that makes you forget worrying about all, but what's right in front of you. The tarmac which lies before you is all that you see, blind to the stop signals that cross your path.

The time when you miss driving off the road, a single moment that teaches you a lesson of a lifetime, a simple thought crosses your mind , of appreciating what IS rather than what WAS or what could BE. For the present grip on the steering wheel and purr of the beast under you is all that matters, not the traffic that you left behind nor the miles that lie ahead. Enjoy the little joys of life, for with each passing day there are not many left. Should learn to appreciate them a little more.

Just as finding the right highway that takes you home isn't hard, finding the things that make you happy shouldn't be tough. I know you will face pain, suffering and hard choices, but you can't let the lost feeling smother out your drive for holding onto what is right and just. Once you know the things that you love, run to them. 

The things that hurt you, or even try to run you over don't necessarily teach you a life lesson, of being careful in the future. They just make you realize the pathetic reality of your own mortality, and still the importance of the good things in your life, Familia...Love...Friends and the satisfaction of hardwork.... for these are the things that will keep you whole and sane. The things that you hold onto when all else around you is falling apart.